Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
