She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
