idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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