why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
