Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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