Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
