i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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