Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
