i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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