Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
