Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Barsexuality is the new black.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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