thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
