i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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