A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
