the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
