yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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