i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
