Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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