think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
How's work?
Spinning.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
