i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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