youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
