no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
