how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
