Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
