seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize