I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
