ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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