You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
