She's JV to your varsity
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I love you. Go after that dick
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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