I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize