just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
