why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
This baby is an asshole
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
