And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
