I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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