what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just had sex on a roof
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
