I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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