im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I had to cum in my sink.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
