I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
