I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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