I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
