just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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