Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
