it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
