remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
