i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Green mimosas i think yes
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
