There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Randomize
