My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize