I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
