Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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