Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I party with great urgency now.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
