Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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