you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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