My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
why is half of my head shaved?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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