yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
