ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just pynch a tree in the face
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
