Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
