i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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