do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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