I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The beer is more important than you right now.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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