Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
