Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
