Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
