why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
