i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
