Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
