YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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