i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
